Mom joins the church and gets married

#21 Faith – Mom joins the church and gets married

My mom, Eleanor, had a beautiful singing voice and she loved to sing, singing any and every chance she could get. Almost everyone always asked for a song and no one ever argued. Although my mom and Harry, my dad, both belonged to the same church, and she was a member of the choir, they didn’t meet there. They met at a Halloween party. Dad did notice her in the choir, however. He once told his mom, Ella, while pointing out my mom in the choir, “I’m going to marry that girl.” They were married in the St. Johns Reformed Church in September of 1950, but I’ll let her tell the story; of how she joined the church and lost her dad in one week, met her future husband later that year at a Halloween party, and then, a year later, got married.

At this time my family was living near the St Johns area of Drums along the Nescopeck River. I started singing in the choir at Harry’s church in 1948, a church my dad and I joined in 1949, but it wasn’t until I attended a Halloween Party held at the Log Cabin Inn, at Rumbles Corner in Drums, in October of 1949, that I actually met Harry.

I worked at the Kaplin Shirt Factory on McKinley Street in Hazleton. By 1949 I’d been there for 6½ years, having started out when we were living at 672 Lincoln Street in Hazleton (I had to get work papers due to my age to work then). I started as a Sleever and did that for three years when I was promoted to Floor Girl doing trimming and so forth. I did that for three years. Right before we moved to the Valley, they made me Fore Lady so I hung on to that job!

After joining the choir in 1948, I began thinking of becoming a member of the church. What I didn’t know was that Dad had wanted to join the church as well. We never talked about it because we were never home at the same time with our work schedules. His plan was to join the church on my birthday, February 6, 1949. When we learned of his interest in doing this, we, Mom and I, convinced him to wait until the following Sunday, February 13, and he and I would join together. That Sunday he was so happy he had a smile from ear to ear.

The next week was a normal week. I took the bus, or as we used to call it in ‘49, the “Tooterville Trolley”, to work and back.

On Sunday, February 20, Rev. Hesson announced to the congregation that Elton and Eleanor Shearer had become members of the church.

All was as normal as things could be. On Monday, the 21^st, I got home and started the wash (washing clothes). When Dad got home he said he wasn’t feeling well. He complained of pains in his shoulder and arm. I kept doing the wash while Mom tried to help him by rubbing liniment on his shoulder and back.

But the pain just got worse. We knew then that something very bad was happening, of course we didn’t know about heart attacks at that time. Mom tried to contact Dr. Raddon but he was out, so she left a message. Then she told me to try and get Rev. Hesson, the church pastor. My cousin, Emerson, drove me to St. Johns and we did find him, it was late so we had to wake him up. We got back to our house just before mid-night and just as the doctor arrived.

Dr. Raddon went in to see my dad and then came back out, called Rev. Hesson over, and told him Dad had just died. Rev. Hesson said a prayer and offered what comfort he could. Emerson took Rev. Hesson home again and I went back down stairs to finish the wash. It had to be done. Of course, I was just moving through the paces by then, as my mind was elsewhere, with Dad.

Rev. Hesson said that in all the years he had served that church, I think close to 40, this was the first time he announced someone had joined the church on one Sunday and then that the same person had died on the very next Sunday. Dad was 50 when he died, two weeks shy of his 51^st birthday, March 4, 1949.

The next eight months were difficult for my mom. She focused mostly on church and work, just to keep herself together. Come October, the last thing she wanted to do was go to a Halloween party.

Willie-Mae, my brother Clayton’s wife, made me go to the Halloween party because she was worried that I had pushed everyone away when Dad died and was staying too much to myself. When we finally got to the Log Cabin Inn, the party was in full swing and everyone was having a jolly time. But I had worked all day and was very tired and the longer the evening went, the tired-er I got!

Clayton had been waiting for one of his war buddies so when this fellow came in dressed like a farmer, I thought it was Clayton’s buddy. But it wasn’t. He never went to Clayton’s table. Well, I was about at the end of my rope so I finally went over to Clayton’s table and said, “I just cannot stay any longer. Who will take me home?” No one said a word. Four drivers and none of them would take me home. I wanted to cry. So I said, “Ok, if no one will take me home, I’ll walk!”

I turned around to head to the door and right behind me was this fellow dressed like a farmer. “I’ll take you home,” he offered. I was ready to drop so I said, “Oh, thank you!” and my eyes welled up so I was afraid I’d make a fool of myself and start crying right there.  I knew I shouldn’t accept rides from strangers but I was so tired I just didn’t care.

On the way home, Dad asked Mom if she’d like to go out with him that Saturday. She thanked him but said no. She wasn’t looking for a relationship. At that point, all she really wanted was to just get home! But then Willie-Mae found out about the invitation for a date.

Then on Saturday, Willie did make me go out with the fellow. We sort of hit it off and we started seeing each other more regularly.  I guess it was late November of 1949 when Harry took me to meet his parents, Elmer and Ella Drum. I knew his father because I’d seen him at Church but for some reason had not connected him with Ella, Harry’s mother. When I did on that visit, I realized she was the same woman who sat on the bus all the time talking about this person and that person, seemed like she talked about just about everyone in the valley, and all sorts of scandal and gossip. Well I didn’t like that but I couldn’t tell that to Harry!

Then I met Grandma Mary (Elmer’s mother) and had a very nice conversation with her. Seems Ella had nasty things to say about her too a lot but that was something else I wasn’t telling Harry! Then it was out to see the farm, 2 BIG pigs, 2 cows, and a pen of chickens. I looked and “admired” and said things like, “Oh yes,” and “Oh my” and “my goodness!”

Then I saw the bee hives. I didn’t like them at all. To me they were murderous! Harry just laughed.

At Christmas Harry gave me a Coo-Coo Clock. It was beautiful and still is; it still hangs on our wall. I have no idea how he was able to afford it. Harry asked me to marry him on Mother’s Day in May, 1950. I almost said no because I didn’t want mom to lose my pay. Since my father died, I was the only full-time wage earner. Once I explained, Harry said my continuing to work was no problem and that we’d continue to help my mom as much as possible.

Mrs. Drum (Ella) wasn’t very sure about the wedding. She had herself so worked up over it the doctor had her taking pills! I almost backed out a few times myself but Willie-Mae always talked me right back into it. Mrs. Drum wanted the wedding reception in the church social room but my brothers wanted a lot of space for dancing and drinks. All Mom said was, “Who is the bride?” “Me!” I said. “Then it should be your way!” and that’s how she left it!

Harry married me on September 17, 1950. Rev. Hesson performed the ceremony and I cried all the way out of the church because it was all just so beautiful.[1]  For the reception, my brother, Nelson, supplied all the beer and so forth. Clayton paid for the cake. Harry bought me my wedding gown and somehow Mom found the money for the Butler Township Fire Hall. My singing teacher, Mrs. Gladys Deis, was the soloist. In 1953 Harry built us a house on land his parents owned and which his mother sold to him in 1959, property Elmer and Ella had bought from Calvin Schaffer in 1941; six and one third acres on West Butler Drive in Drums.

The house Dad built as it is today, front and back. I call it “Drumyngham”.

Mom’s Black Forest Cuckoo Clock.

Return to Drums of Drums, PA on April 8, 2019 for a look at the Drums as Methodists in the post: The Methodists.

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[1] For a photo of Mom and Dad leaving the church after the ceremony, see the previous post: #20 Faith – Baptisms, Marriages, and Deaths, oh, my! …and maybe a party or two.

Baptisms, Marriages, and Deaths, oh, my!

#20 Faith – Baptisms, Marriages, and Deaths, oh, my! …and maybe a party or two.

In our previous posts we’ve learned the history of “George’s” church and “toured” it as well. All I can say is that it’s a good thing that church was there. We Drums used it for all it was worth! Over the years, members of the Drum tree were baptized in this church, confirmed into this church, married in this church, socialized in this church, served the church in various ways, and were buried by this church’s congregation. What follows are just of a few of the ways the Drums served this church and this church served the Drums.

So, we begin with someone who is not a Drum. Elmer Drum married Ella Santee in 1919. The Confirmation Certificate below, written in German, belonged to Ella’s Aunt, Sarah Santee. It is dated December 5, 1858 and signed by John Berhard Poerner, Evangelical Reformed “prediger” (preacher), “St. Johannes” in “Butler, Luzerne Co., PA.” 

I suppose I should have started with this photo because it is of a slightly earlier date than Aunt Sarah’s certificate but I just couldn’t bring myself to begin another post with a gravestone. George’s son Philip, or “Philip II” as we’ve been calling him in these posts, died on February 27, 1858. He was 71 years and 12 days old, according to the stone. Of George’s eight children, only Abraham and Margarett died later. None of the siblings lived longer, except we are unsure of Margarett’s date of death. Therefore, we can’t be sure if Margarett or Philip lived the longest. All of them, like Philip, were buried in the St. Johns Cemetery along with quite a number of their decedents, and their mom and dad, of course.

And since I went here, I guess I can toss in one more gravestone. This one is for Alonzo Drum. Alonzo was his middle name. His first name was also Philip. Philip Alonzo Drum was born February 24, 1853. He was the second son of John and Anna Drum. I am curious to learn where the name Alonzo came from since I think this is the first time the name appears in this family’s tree. After Philip Alonzo, who apparently went by his middle name since his first name is not included on his grave marker, the name is used by the Drums a few more times as a middle name, the most recent to my knowledge being my grandfather, Elmer Alonzo Drum. Philip Alonzo Drum died rather young, living only 30 years, dying May 8, 1883.

Elmer Alonzo Drum was born July 6, 1895. His baptismal certificate says he was baptized July 28, 1895 by J. B. Kerschner, “Pastor Ref. Ch.”

That Christmas, Nathan presented his wife, Mary, with a “Pictorial Family Bible”. To be specific, the actual title of the volume is: The Pronouncing Edition of the Holy Bible Containing the Authorized and Revised Versions of the Old and New Testaments, arranged in Parallel Columns, Giving the Correct Pronunciation of Every Proper Name Contained in the Bible.[1] It provides a synopsis of various Christian and non-Christian denominations; biographical sketches of reformers and bible scholars; plants and animals as found in bible times and lands, biblical cites, holy land maps, histories of the old and new testament books, ancient alphabets, and on and on. It even includes pages for photos, places to list family members and their births, their deaths, children; even a page where family members could swear off consuming acholic beverages. Oh, and it also has the old and new testaments. The only page completed, however, is the Presentation Page shown here. “Presented to Mrs. Nathan Drum by her husband December 25^th, 1895”.

The book is approximately 11” by 12” by 5”. Maybe she couldn’t lift it. I did find a four-leaf clover, Peacock tail feather, and a yellow Aster bloom pressed between its pages. 

Well, now that I’ve gotten out of the cemetery, for some reason I feel the need to go back into the cemetery, I can’t seem to stay away! Next, we see the Memorial Day services of 1909 being held, of course, in the cemetery. 

This picture was taken by Edwin Finstermacher. I like to think that Mary and Nathan are in that crowd somewhere, Elmer and Christie, too! It must have been breezy that day. The flag in front is fluttering pretty strongly which probably made it a memorable Memorial Day, too.

My wife, Phyllis, and I also had a few memorable days. Our first was the day we got married, July 2, 1983. If I’d known, I’d have waited a day so we could have had the same anniversary day as my Grandfather! Rev. W. D. Stoyer performed the marriage ceremony for Ella and Elmer on July 3, 1919.

In 1921, everyone dressed up to perform the Christmas Cantata! Well maybe not “everyone” but quite a few! And here they are!

I zoomed in a bit and circled Elmer and Ella for you so you could find them in the picture. 

Everyone seems so happy! Merry(?) Christmas!

“Ok, men, everyone out on the front lawn for our 1923 Bible Class Photo. Now Remember, men, Bible Class is a serious business, so nobody smile! Got it?!” 

It must have been a warm day. The windows are open. The door is propped open too. I circled Elmer for you. The hexagon marks his father, Nathan. Also note the boy to the far right. His name is Herbert Wenner. Herbert, apparently, invented “Photo Bombing”!

 

If you are going to be promoted from the Primary Department into the Junior Department of Sunday School, THIS is the promotion certificate you are going to want!! For sure!! Harry made it from Primary to Junior on October 16, 1932.

So, is it me or do these guys scare you too? This is the Reformed Church Consistory of 1947. Once again, I’ve circled Elmer for easy identification. Rev. Hesson is two seats to Elmer’s left. When Elmer died in 1959, Edward Longenberger, as President of the Consistory that year, signed a tribute the Consistory wrote about Elmer to Ella. Edward Longenberger is the third man from the left standing in the back row.

No need to comment on when, what, or where. The picture is worth a thousand words on that account, or around 15 words, anyway. I did point out Eleanor (Mom) and Harry (Dad) for you, both in back of the crowd. Mom is just peeking from the very rear between two heads. Dad is a little less hidden. Mom said she hadn’t met my Dad until a Halloween Party (in October) in 1949 so it is reasonable to assume that they were not acquainted when this photo was taken in August. Maybe they should have tried harder. They are only six people apart in the photo! And one of those was my dad’s mom! I zoomed in so we can see them all better. It appears Elmer didn’t attend this picnic. 

Mom and Dad got married, in the St. John’s Reformed Church, September 17, 1950.

Of that day Mom said, “I cried all the way out of the church because it was all just so beautiful.”

Of course, Reformed Church membership is not all fun and games! It is also apparently men wearing Easter Bonnets in the Easter Parade! Here is Dad in the church basement’s children’s classroom showing off his Easter Bonnet of 1964.

In 1969, I got to be an Acolyte. Acolytes do the odd job stuff during the Sunday morning services such as light the candles and snuff them out again. Here I come ready to light some candles!

In 1982, St. Johns U.C.C. celebrated it’s 190^th Anniversary. There was a big program in the Social Hall that evening and I was asked to be the MC. I got to introduce a whole bunch of Ministers from all around the area while, in between, telling all sorts of corny puns and jokes. People laughed – WITH me – so I guess I did OK.  That’s me, 6^th in from the left, surrounded by men with funny collars. I circled myself because you may not be able to see the small arrow Mom drew on the photo pointing at me from the floor.

These are the folks who attended the celebration. I’ve circled my Dad. I thought Mom took the photo, leaving the empty chair there in front as her placeholder but upon closer examination of the photo, that looks like my mom sitting beside my dad so maybe Nathan, my brother, took the photo and left the empty chair!

And we had cake! This just proves that you CAN have your church and eat it too!

You know, now that I think about it, my Dad really was a pretty good sport.

This is my dad, Harry, playing Santa for the church in 1982. Dad passed away in 1986.

People are proud of their membership in this church. There was even a page in the 200^th Anniversary booklet that honored those members in 1992 who were “baptized, confirmed, and married in St. John’s U.C.C.” Phyllis wanted to get married in her home town of West Springfield, Massachusetts or I’d have been in that picture, too. 

And then, On October 8, 1995, my son Philip was baptized in the St. Johns U.C.C.

In the back row, L to R, are Phyllis’s sister, Susanne Emanuelson; Phyllis’s mom, Mary Dupuis; Phyllis’s dad, Joe Dupuis; Phyllis’s sister, Jane Dupuis; and John Emanuelson, Susanne’s husband.

In front, L – R, are my mom, Eleanor Drum; Philip’s mom, Phyllis; me; and Philip.

And that’s how it’s been now, for 227 years and counting. Babies being baptized, people being married, social gatherings being held to celebrate special occasions (like Easter, Christmas, even Halloween!), clubs to be a member of, classes to learn in, and special services and funerals to honor and remember those who have passed away. Oh, and Sunday Morning Services, of course.

In our next post, we go from taking a page out of the 200^th Anniversary Book to taking a page out of Eleanor’s book, literally. Between 2006 and 2011, Mom wrote a book about hers and her mother’s lives. Since we’ve hinted a bit about her joining the church and meeting/marrying Dad in this and earlier posts, I thought I’d share that portion of her story with you, as she wrote it, literally taking a page out of her book.

Mom joins the church will be the next post to appear in the Drums of Drums, PA saga; March 25, 2019.

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[1] Williams, Prof. S. W., The Pronouncing Edition of the Holy Bible Containing the Authorized and Revised Versions of the Old and New Testaments, arranged in Parallel Columns, Giving the Correct Pronunciation of Every Proper Name Contained in the Bible. (Phila.: A.J. Holman and Co., LTD, 1895)